September 2005
Does Your Body Speak Your Language?
By Cara Hale Alter

People make up their minds about others at lightning speed-without attempting to analyze why they find them likable, authoritative, credible, or insert-adjective-here. These conclusions are based on observable cues-nonverbal signals such as the position of a chin, width of a stance, speed of gestures, or duration of eye contact. Together, these behaviors form a composite that influences personal perceptions.

Most people rarely notice the impact that their habitual mannerisms have on the image they project. But unintentional behaviors, such as speaking softly, lazy articulation, extraneous head movement, asymmetrical posture, or stiff facial expressions, can have serious repercussions. They may get in the way of securing clients or attaining promotions, keep you relegated to backroom research, distance you from colleagues or senior partners, or prevent you from being assigned to prominent cases. Your career may stall, and you may not understand why.

Living Intentionally
Though most lawyers strive to choose words with care, few can say the same about their body language. However, if people are getting the wrong impression of you, it's because of something you are doing. Take control of your nonverbal signals. Choose your physical behaviors the way you choose your dress, hairstyle, car, neighborhood, friends, and occupation: intentionally.

Most people are at their best when they strike a balance between authority and approachability. Learning what common responses are provoked by particular physical and aural cues can put you in control of the image you project, raising the likelihood that you will be perceived the way you want to be perceived.

Lower, Taller
To bolster your appearance of authority and confidence, focus on stronger volume and crisper articulation. Intentionally use the lower tones in your voice, especially at the ends of sentences. The more richness and resonance in your voice, the more personal power you will appear to have.

Also, sit or stand in an upright, balanced position. Show that you have a strong spine and level head, literally and figuratively.

Stiller, Too
And be still. When you think of icons of authority-a police officer or a Supreme Court justice-stillness is likely a common denominator. Keep in mind that extraneous movement in your body language, such as shifting your weight or fiddling with pens or fingers, can indicate that you lack either self-awareness or self-control.

Be Engaged
On the other end of the spectrum, to appear more approachable and receptive, make sure that your face and hands are engaged in the conversation. Fluidity in facial expression is the number-one indicator of being at ease. When anxiety levels rise-such as in a high-stakes client interview, a spontaneous hallway meeting with a partner, or the first day in court-most people have a tendency to lock their faces into a "mask"-a stiff nonexpression or a constant little smile. Either way, it serves as a barrier between you and the person with whom you're speaking.

Hand gestures perform a similar dance. When feeling self-conscious, people have a tendency to clasp their hands together. It's only after warming to a topic of conversation that people allow their hands to gesture naturally. To indicate that you are comfortable and receptive, be sure to nudge your face and hands into action.

But keep in mind that too much of a good thing can have a negative effect. While crisp articulation and fluid gestures are generally good accompaniments, articulation that is too sharp and gestures that are too emphatic can send the message that you are harsh and opinionated.

Look from the Outside
The only way to truly know how others see you is to get a look at yourself from the outside. If there is something ineffective in your style, it is almost certainly unintentional. So actively seek honest feedback. Set up a video camera in your office or living room, give yourself an impromptu question, and see how you respond. Find a friend or hire an expert to review your tape and help you determine any habits that may be in your way. Or sign up for a class that includes on-camera feedback and coaching.

Unconscious mannerisms can often mean the difference between professional failure and success. Don't let a lack of self-awareness stand in the way of your career.

Cara Hale Alter is president and principal trainer at Speechskills, a communication consulting firm in San Francisco.